


Of Pines, Pancakes and Potions

by Sob3rNerd73



Series: a slightly different Reverse Portal AU [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: A-grade Pines Supernatural Shenanigans, Curious Dipper, Dresden Files references if you squint, Excited Mabel, Gen, I love these twins so much, I suck at writing surroundings but I try ok, I’m sorry for any OOC, Journal 3 hasn’t been found yet, Magic, Paranoid Ford, Potions, Pre-Tourist Trap, Reverse Portal AU, Scientific magic because it’s Ford we’re talking about, TW in second chapter, Tags May Change, eye-bats - Freeform, potion making, switched!Melody and Soos, they’re great, touch-averse Ford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sob3rNerd73/pseuds/Sob3rNerd73
Summary: Dipper and Mabel Pines were sent to Gravity Falls by their parents for some “fresh air”; and they were to live with their nerdy genius uncle who had set up a tourist trap there 15 years ago.Little did the twins know what supernatural shenanigans their trip would entail....My take on the Reverse Portal AU, where Ford knows magic and is just an uncle. He also already used the unicorn spell to protect the shack. Other changes I made are in the Notes!Chapter 2 isn’t entirely necessary, it was just me wanting to expand on both Ford’s knowledge of wards (I like to imagine he would give Dipper and Mabel’s room some kind of magical protection), and his trauma regarding his past with Bill.
Relationships: Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines & Mabel Pines & Ford Pines, Ford Pines & Melody
Series: a slightly different Reverse Portal AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757092
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters here are owned by our sorta-sane savior, Alex Hirsch. I really like the idea of Ford becoming rather adept in magic if Stan were to fall into the portal, so that’s what this is. Also, it’s been 15 years instead of 30, so Ford is an uncle and not a great-uncle. He still earns the “Grunkle” title though.

Stanford “Ford” Pines groaned and hit his forehead on the surface of the counter in his gift shop for the third time, barely registering his handywoman Melody placing a pillow on the surface to soften the blow.

“What’s wrong with me, Melody? Why did I accept doing the favor? Why didn’t I hire an actor? Why didn’t I buy at least one book on parenting? Why did I say I can take care of two kids?” Ford’s voice was muffled by the pillow but Melody heard it clear enough.

She sighed and smiled while doing maintenance on a shelf, the various tchotchkes and price flags that normally resided there having been moved onto the ground for the time being. Ford had closed down the Mystery Shack for the next few days to both prepare for the arriving twins and to let them settle in. This allowed her to do all sorts of small renovations she had planned.

Her boss had been eager to lend a hand in taking care of the arriving kids, only to slowly realize what taking care of two children for an entire season would entail. The past week had been a constant, slow spiral into dread.

“I think you know the answers to all of those questions, Dr. Pines. Besides, it’ll be fun! Plus, I’ve got some experience in overseeing kids, since I’ve got like, three younger siblings.”

Ford sat bolt upright, his horn-rimmed glasses askew and face slack with shock.

“And you’re making me aware of this now?!”

“Well, no, but the last time I told you I don’t think you heard me. It was a little after you let me know about them coming over, and you were working on some equation or something in your office.”

Frustrated, Ford ran his hands through his hair, mumbling about time that could have been spent learning from her. Why did he have to get so excited over things to the point where he never noticed anything else?! Why was he working on an algorithm when he should’ve been preparing?! Why hadn’t he bothered to ask her?! _Why_ -

“Hey, I’ll give you the crash course. With kids the age of your niece and nephew there isn’t that much to it,”

Pulled out of the spiral, Ford immediately moved his hands from his hair to his lab coat pocked, where he kept a pen and small notebook at all times. Drawing them out, he flipped the notebook to an empty page and readied his writing utensil.

“The kids arrive in an hour, I have to leave in 45 minutes, what can you tell me?”

Replacing her hammer in her toolbelt, Melody sighed and went to sit on the counter, facing away from Ford. She loved her boss, despite his... eccentricities and obsessions, and urge to burn any one dollar bill he came across. He was a good dude, but unbelievable sometimes.

“It’s not something to write down, I guarantee you won’t have the time to constantly refer to it.” She giggled lightly.

Ford frowned up at his employee and friend. 

“Writing aids my recollection. Now get to it, we only have 44 minutes.”

One hour later, Ford drummed his hands on the wheel of the 1965 El Diablo four-door sedan that he still after fifteen years vaguely despised driving, it wasn’t _his_.

The bus seemed to be slightly behind schedule, which just gave him even more time to fret, but also review. He grabbed his notebook and looked over the familiar loopy script he had already memorized.

_Don’t be patronizing_

_Don’t be late to anything_

_Treat them_ _like mini adults with no life experience_

He smiled at that one, remembering his brother Shermie praising their diverse intelligence. The information he had gleaned from the few phone calls was that one was outgoing, energetic, and exceptionally creative while the other was inquisitive and bookish, and very curious about the supernatural. They were fraternal twins, which brought up some bittersweet memories. What were their names?

The squeal of breaks in need of a good amount of oil snapped Ford out of his reverie, and he turned to look out the window, seeing the arrival of a bus from the tree line where he had pulled over.

He took a deep breath.You can do this. The worse that could happen was-

Never mind.

He exited the car and opened the trunk in preparation for the luggage of the last two people on the bus, a boy and a girl, looking about how he had pictured them. Brunette curls, freckles, big brown eyes, curious faces- the whole package. Although something seemed maliciously familiar about the shooting star design on the girl’s sweater. 

They both looked exhausted but excited, which is what an 8 hour bus ride beginning early in the morning would result in. Mabel and Mason were their names! But Mason liked being called Dipper, which was a weird nickname, but something Ford was willing to abide by.

After the bus pulled away, the kids were looking around, still standing at the bus stop with what looked like more luggage and clothes than he had ever possessed.

Pushing off the car, he mentally prepared for anything that might take place.

—

Mabel Pines looked around excitedly. The woods were so awesome! And beautiful! The towering pines made her feel like she was a part of something great. She could practically feel the special forest mosquito bites that were to be endured. Wait. Looking down, she saw that there were already two itchy red bumps on her right leg. Dang.

And they were here to see their uncle they haven’t met! Their dad said he was a huge nerd and genius who moved to Oregon to study anomalies and rumored supernatural stuff, only to open a supernatural-themed tourist trap in the woods connected to his house instead of doing something with his education.

“Well, good for him!” She had replied.

She was so excited and distracted that she didn’t notice the man approaching them until he spoke.

“Greetings. Mabel and... Dipper, yes?” He smiled shyly from five feet away, his thin form tense and his hands behind his back. Mabel took in the white lab coat, blue button-up, dark blue tie, and beige slacks. She also notice with interest his streak of silvery white hair on both sides of his head that contrasted with the rest of his dark brown curls. Wasn’t he younger than her dad? To top off the look, he had a pair of thick horn rims and a light five o’ clock shadow, and cleft chin.

“Yeah, and you’re our Uncle”- Dipper didn’t get to finish before Mabel jumped in excitement.

“Oh my gosh, Dipper, he’s an ADORABLE NERD! Look, he even has a freaking lab coat! And glasses!” 

“Mabel, our dad has glasses!”

Ignoring her brother, she ran up to Ford for a hug, but he stepped away, and stuck out a hand. 

“Um... thank you? As your brother was probably going to point out, I’m your uncle, call me Ford.” He knelt down to accommodate their height difference. With a gasp she noticed his extra digit and vigorously shook the offered hand.

“Wow, a six-fingered handshake! It’s a full finger friendlier than normal!”

This made Ford’s nervous smile stretch into something genuine. “I like you, you’re weird.” 

Mabel beamed.

After the handshake ended, Ford straightened up and rocked back on his heels, replacing his hands behind his back. He looked around.

“So, I suppose you require assistance with your luggage?” Ford asked, walking to Dipper and grabbing two duffel bags before the twins could reply.

“Yeah, thanks man.” Dipper scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He had been hoping to find a kindred spirit in his uncle after hearing of his brilliance and love of the supernatural, but he hadn’t even gotten a handshake.

—

In the car, the kids fell asleep, which was inevitable. Ford sighed and contemplated how he was going to treat them. They were different, and at first he was worried he would accidentally pay more attention to Dipper rather than Mabel due to their common interests, but the boy looked rather dejected at not receiving a handshake like his sister. In all honesty, the only reason Ford didn’t shake his nephew’s hand was because he had forgotten how gross handshakes felt and how stupid they were as a greeting, they basically served as first impressions but what if the hand was sweaty or dry or cold or warm? The experience would always be unpleasant, and one handshake had been more than enough physical contact for the day- or summer.

As the Shack appeared within sight, Ford got an idea of how to both make it up to Dipper and how to involve both the twins in something he found enjoyable. It would have to be the next day, but that was fine. Everything had already begun to fall into place.

—

Back at the Shack, Ford introduced Melody as an employee/friend, stating how she would be staying with them on and off but neglecting to mention why, before leading the twins to their room for the summer while giving a small tour of the location of his bedroom, the bathrooms, the kitchen and whatnot. There seemed to be papers everywhere, with the occasional textbook on quantum theory or multidimensional calculus. Mabel had named the T-Rex skull in the living room Burt, and the axolotl in the tank was Joel. 

They never got a real look around the tourist trap part of the house, everything in the gift shop having been either covered in a sheet to prevent dust or in a pile to allow Melody to renovate.

Upon entering the room, Mabel immediately took the right side while Dipper took the left. Both twins silently remarked how new the lining of the window looked, and how it’s square shape looked vaguely wrong in the triangular room.

“Now, I’ve closed the Shack for a few days to allow you guys to settle in a little before working, so if you need anything, let me know. Oh, and don’t mind Gompers, he’s clean- and immortal.”

With that, Ford retreated back downstairs.

“Wait- what?” Mason “Dipper” Pines frowned. Turning to the bed he chose that had a painting of a ship above it, he was surprised to find a goat there.

“And, there’s a goat on my bed.”

“Ooh, I bet that’s Gompers!” Mabel hopped off her bed where she had begun hanging posters and ran up to the animal.

“Are you Gompers? Bleat if the answer’s yes!”

Gompers bleated, then started chewing her sweater sleeve.

“Oh my gosh!”

Dipper sighed and began to unpack. What was up with their uncle? He was always so tense, as if he was expecting something to jump out and attack him at any moment, only fractionally loosening up once they entered the house. Dipper doubted it had to do with his extra finger, he had no qualms against offering to shake Mabel’s hand despite hiding them behind his back most of the time, and the fact that he ran a tourist trap entirely based on mysterious things should make him embrace his defect! And why would he think a goat was immortal? Conspiracies about lizard people were one thing, but the goat was so random.

Yeah, their uncle was weird.

Then again, so was Mabel.

With a sigh Dipper realized chances were that despite his previous hopes, this would be another one of those instances where Mabel won over somebody’s heart before he even got a chance. Classic.

The twins passed out as soon as they were done unpacking, and didn’t wake up until Melody called them for dinner. Ford wasn’t there, much to the twins’ confusion, but Melody brushed off their questions with little beyond “He turned in early”, which neither twin believed. She also brushed off their questions about why she was going to be staying on and off with very not-subtle subject changes. The twins learned it was better not to ask, and instead they conversed about Melody’s phenomenal cooking skills.

—

The next morning, Ford was already awake and making breakfast when the twins arrived downstairs. Instead of the more formal wear he had greeted them with the day before, this time he was clad in a slightly oversized red turtleneck sweater and black pants. His hair was mussed and his eyes somehow had more bags under them than the day before, but they were alight with excitement.

Mabel preferred the adorable nerd outfit, but this one made him look more relaxed despite his constantly tense posture.

“Ah, good morning kids! I was just about to wake you. You guys find pancakes delectable, yes?”

“OMG Uncle Ford, those smell delicious!” Mabel eagerly took a seat and grinned at her brother, who sat next to her on the kitchen booth.

“I hope so, I’ve never actually done this before. Melody and a few cookbooks helped me out.” Their uncle gave a shy smile as he deposited a plate stacked high with steaming discs of flavor in between the twins.

“Melody has left and I have already eaten; they’re all for you. Exactly half of them contain chocolate chips, upon her insistence. Later, if you have no objections, I want to take you on a walk through the woods to show you some things you won’t believe.” A slightly giddy smile played on Ford’s face as he swept out of the room.

Mabel was ecstatic.

“Dipper! We get chocolate chip pancakes! And family bonding! On our first morning! I can’t believe you were grumpy about this trip!” She exclaimed, piling pancakes onto her plate and butter and syrup onto the pancakes.

Her twin smiled. “This is pretty sweet. I wonder what he’s going to show us?”

“Do you think it’s gonna be some supernatural thing! Like something that has to do with his tourist trap?”

“Mabel, it’s a tourist trap, I doubt anything in it is actually real.”

“You don’t know that, we haven’t even seen it yet! All the stuff was covered when we got here, remember? It could have anything!”

—

Ford smiled as he packed his bag and listened to the kids’ conversation. Dipper was in for a surprise.

After hearing of his nephew’s interest in supernatural conspiracies and cover-ups, he had begun planning this walk. Ford had meant to take them later, once they had begun to realize how not quite right this town was, but he decided to advance it. He would take the twins through the parts of the woods he knew were safe _and lacked birch trees_ and show them the nesting places of swarms of eye-bats he had found, he would take them to see faerie rings, he would explain the dangers of everything and hopefully not have to worry about them stumbling into something and taking it badly due to ignorance. Melody had recommended all of this and he trusted her despite his ~~better judgement~~ paranoia.

He could only hope they wouldn’t be bored.

—

Dipper smiled as he breathed in the humid, shadowy sub-canopy atmosphere while following his uncle and sister through the Oregon wilderness. The trees were huge, the spiders were few, the path was flat and the birds were content.

Maybe his parents had a point about fresh air.

But they neglected to mention the mosquitoes. Mumbling in annoyance, he scratched a bite on his stomach. He was wearing a shirt, how did it even get there?!

They could see a small clearing up ahead, wreathed in sunlight and speckled by mushrooms and moss-covered stones. The forest around it was shadowed but somehow bright at the same time. 

“Dipper, I hear you’re interested in the supernatural?” Ford piped up. 

“Uh, yeah! Haven’t actually... found much though. People usually make fun of me for it.” Dipper looked down awkwardly.

“That’s not your fault, you live in an area far too tainted by human civilization. Humans themselves are fine conductors of magic, especially with practice; and some are more able than others. But society and civilization sucks it away from everything. Plus, why would anything magical live in Piedmont when just a state north is the prime weirdness magnet of the country?”

Dipper blinked and looked up. There was so much in Ford’s dialogue to process.

“Wait- magic is real?! And what’s a ‘weirdness magnet’?” Mabel asked before Dipper could get anything out.

“Yes, and it’s everywhere!” Ford forgot about his niece’s second question as he began to explain; “Quite fascinating, really. The way it works is-“

“WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE?!” Dipper shrieked and pointed to what looked like freaking eyeballs with wings that were hanging from the trees on the edges of the clearing.

“Ah, these are one of the many supernatural things here I wanted to show you! I call them ‘eye-bats’.” The man turned to the twins with an excited look on his face. 

“Now, Dipper, places like Gravity Falls are where many supernatural beings reside, and where magic is most prominent. I wanted to show you that the supernatural is indeed real, and this is one of the more harmless aspects of it. Also, did you know the eye-bats’ tears can be used to make rather useful potions? They’re not just made of salt and water, they contain the magical essence that keeps them alive despite the lack of a digestive system- or any organ system really.”

The twins stared. Dipper heard that his uncle was a genius, but wow, if he had at least this much information on all the other things he wanted to show them catalogued in his brain, he was beyond description! And the fact that he took them on this trip to not only show them stuff but also to validate Dipper made the boy glow with happiness.

“Uncle Ford, this is incredible! You’re incredible! Everything about this is- is- words... not working... for mouth...” Dipper held the brim of his hat in his excitement and ran over to be closer to one of the branches where the eye-bats were hanging.

“Ford, this is so awesome! And you’re not just a nerd, you’re a magical nerd! Do you know spells? Can you teach me? Can you send us to wizarding school?!” Mabel yelled as she jumped up and down.

“Well- um- I do know some rudimentary technicalities but I’m not exactly a practitioner. If you want, I can show you how to make a potion out of the tears.”

“But I don’t want to make them sad!”

“No no Mabel, all that is required is to keep some and wait for a few hours. They shed tears in a way similar to how animals shed their hair. Here-“ Ford took off his bag and drew out a jar and an extendable mesh butterfly net.

“Catch a few, and get them into this containment jar.”

Mabel grasped the handle of the net in one hand and put the jar under her opposite arm excitedly. “I won’t let you down, o potion master!”

“Stay within my line of sight please!”

Charmed, Ford dragged his bag a short distance to a rock in the clearing. He sat down and drew out a journal, pen, and water bottle. This journal was a dark blue ~~his brother’s favorite color~~ and had a plain cover which was nice because it bore no resemblance to his old journals. It wasn’t for research either, it was simply a catalog of moments from the adventure this summer would unavoidably turn out to be. Flipping to the first page, he began sketching eye-bats and his niblings. 

The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing, and his mind was quiet.

It was nice.

—

Mabel had managed to catch 3 of the elusive creatures by the time Ford decided they should move on. Dipper noticed his uncle smile at the notebook and pen the boy had jotted notes with. Although that smile quickly became a look of vague regret before he turned away. The rest of the morning and part of the afternoon was spent wandering the woods, Ford explaining in detail the things he showed them. 

Mabel was envious of Dipper’s ability to enter the faerie ring since he was the only one with a hat. According to Ford, mortals could only enter faerie rings without risk of dying horribly by wearing their hat backwards, and it had to be their own.

The few gnomes they saw seemed oddly interested in his sister, which greatly annoyed Ford.

Mabel had been ready to physically fight their uncle to keep a butternut squash with emotions and a human face until their uncle unwittingly scarred them- probably for life -by describing the process of them rotting. He was even ready to show some pictures he drew.

Ford mentioned a cave with giant fruit-bats, but immediately backtracked when he saw a birch tree sapling on the path, and he began to usher them home, mumbling about eyes.

Upon reaching the Shack, Dipper concluded their uncle was a brilliant supernatural expert that might have been missing a few screws. He couldn’t have asked for more.

—

That evening, after they had all showered and Ford had unpacked his bag, he called a family meeting in the living room. The table he was sitting at held the jar of eye-bats, and various papers strewn about. The single light turned on above the table with the rest of the room being dark gave the meeting a dramatic, mildly frightening air.

“Now kids, I have made you aware of some of the paranormal wonders these woods have to offer, but you must be aware of the dangers.”

“Woah, so Gravity Falls has some secret dark side?” Dipper asked.

Mabel raised an eyebrow at her brother’s melodrama.

“I suppose so, yes. Children, these are just a fraction of what statistical improbabilities are here, and many of them are as dangerous as they are fascinating.

“I myself have nearly lost my life several times while researching this place, and going places far too dangerous for mortals. You must not take this place lightly, there are monsters here beyond imagination. Should you enter the woods, never stray more than a mile or two from civilization, and try to stick with the places you have been before. I do not kid, I do not exaggerate. Promise me, you will exercise proper precautions.”

Mabel held her uncle’s gaze. 

“I promise.” Both her and her brother chanted simultaneously.

“Good. Now who’s ready to make some potions?”

“I am!” The twins ran after their uncle as he entered a study through a doorway behind a bookshelf in the hallway leading to his bedroom, jar of eye-bats in hand.

The twins could barely contain their excitement. Their uncle had a secret potion room!

“This probably goes without saying, but neither of you are permitted to enter this room without permission. Many of the things I keep in here are dangerous, and you don’t know enough to be able to distinguish the harmless from the harmful. Don’t try also, I keep it locked.” Ford looked down at them seriously.

Ford’s office was, at its best, an organized mess. On one side, there was a long desk covered in notebooks, writing utensils, papers, and jars. Shelves above it held more of the same, along with containers of dissected specimens filled with formaldehyde that Mabel tried not to look at, although she couldn’t help but notice one of them was an eye-bat. So that’s how he knew about them not having organs. Gross.

On the wall opposite of the entrance, there was another long desk that had what looked like the weirdest chemistry set ever, tubes and stands and Bunsen burners in random tangles, along with various sometimes-filled beakers and cups. There were several large-ish basins set within the table, occasionally interrupting the structures. The entire set glowed slightly and Mabel wasn’t sure she wanted to know how or why.

The wall opposite to the paper-filled desk was lined with floor-to-ceiling shelves containing books, jars of various unidentifiable things, figurines, Tupperware containers, a bunch of animal things like scales and feathers, and cardboard boxes.

Amalgams of weird-smelling herbs and plants hung from the ceiling, along with what looked like wind chimes and... small skulls?

A single rolling chair sat at the paper-strewn desk, and it was clearly meant to be there for Ford to be able to easily go back and forth between the three sides without standing or switching chairs.

Mabel raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not a wizard Uncle Ford? This is a very wizard-y looking room. It’s also super creepy.”

“Are you kidding, Mabel? This room is so cool! Are these all potion things Uncle Ford?”

“Not all of them. There are also various things in here for spells and warding off spirits. There are no pictures, windows or mirrors present for a reason.”

Dipper stared in awe. “Best. Uncle. Ever.”

“You can geek out later, bro-bro. Let’s make a potion!”

—

Mabel was somehow in awe but also bored of the in-depth explanations her uncle had of what-does-what-and-how when it came to potion making. Unfortunately, she zoned out rather easily and missed quite a bit. She thought there would be more sparkles and singed hair.

With that thought, she felt a sharp tug. 

“Ow! What the hey?” She rubbed her head and glared at her brother.

“Mabel, we need a hair from each of us for this to work. It’s sorta like... what was it Uncle Ford? A password?”

“Yes that’s right my boy. This isn’t necessary and it is slightly more difficult, but I prefer to enter something of my, or our, specific DNA into the potion’s makeup. This prevents anyone else from experiencing the effects, were they to drink it.”

“And it’s a night-vision potion! How cool is that?!” Dipper exclaimed.

“Woah, night-vision with a password! Me likey!”

“Ah, I’m glad. Now Mabel, would you do the honors of freeing the eye-bats outside? I’m sure there are more than enough tears within the jar to suit our needs.”

“On it!” Happy about having something to do, Mabel dashed off and returned about 30 seconds later with an empty jar.

Ford showed her how to sop up the tears on the inside of the jar with a special cotton he had made that had no effect on the potion.

She happily got all the liquid she could and threw the cotton into the basin they were working in.

“I’m a wizard now!”

“Well, making a potion does count as practicing magic. The next ingredient to add is rather special. There are two ways to make a night-vision potion, but I prefer the more authentic way. Think of it like something store-bought and something homemade by an expert. They both work, but the latter is generally better. I’m creating something homemade, to work within the metaphor, and therefore it requires more ingredients, and a higher level of complexity.” Ford walked over to his shelves and grabbed a nondescript container.

“It’s more natural, as well. Rather than creating the desired effect as something that simply clashes with the natural darkness of night, I’m bringing out the light that’s already there.”

Dipper and Mabel looked on in interest as their uncle opened the lid to reveal folded silk napkins. Mabel frowned.

“Wait, wha-“

“Shh!” Dipper eagerly shushed his sister.

“Watch closely. This needs to be done while feeling complete calm due to this ingredient’s nature, or else its effects will be negated.” And with that, Ford drew out a single napkin and opened it to reveal... light.

Mabel’s boredom instantly went to zero. Dipper gasped.

“This, children, is moonlight. At night, even during a new moon, there is always some light to be had. The similarity between this light within the potion and therefore within you and the light outside will cause them to be drawn out and to each other in a way that is similar to magnets, only this time, similar things attract instead of opposites.”

He aimed the light towards the basin.

“Lunae lumen ostendere viam.” Ford muttered. He took a breath and brushed the lit side of the napkin with his hand, causing the light to, with lack of a better description, fall into the potion from the silk.

“You are a wizard!” Mable looked up from the now glowing potion to stare at her relative. 

“Not necessarily, I just have a higher magic potential than the norm, allowing me to make incantations without having to practice.”

After adding a few more things, such as metal dust and coffee (“to aid in energy and to allow the potion to circulate with the caffeine”), the three sat back. 

“Now we wait for the magic to set, and it should be ready by tomorrow morning!” Ford smiled at the kids.

“What, we can’t use it tonight?”

“Mabel, you drinking anything with coffee in it is something I’ve always feared. I think this is only something that we should use if it’s absolutely necessary.”

“Your brother is correct, about that second part at least. Things like these take effort and time. Also, if you drink it before it’s ready, you’ll just be drinking a mix of the ingredients instead of the magic-infused product. So it would just be an extremely unpleasant mix of coffee, cotton balls, metal, water, tree bark, and the other things we’ve added. I speak from experience.”

“Yeesh.” Mabel cringed.

“Uncle Ford, I know we just got here, but this is probably going to be the best summer ever. Thank you for this! Could you maybe show us more stuff later?”

“Yeah! In fact, I officially dub you, Grunkle Ford, because you’re an uncle who’s great!”

Ford blushed and couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “I would love to teach you. It’s not often I encounter kindred spirits such as yourselves. Having people to share my enjoyment promises to make this season infinitely better than I had initially hoped. Off to bed now, the Shack opens tomorrow afternoon. I need to show you the ropes.”

“Goodnight Grunkle Ford!” Mabel chimed as she happily exited the room. Dipper went after her with the same exclamation.

Ford sighed, content. He couldn’t believe his luck. The kids were wonderful! He had much to show them.

—

The twins were awake for hours after they had changed and laid down. There was so much to think and talk about! They felt they had won the lottery, their uncle as the prize. Who had family members that cool?!

“Mom and Dad aren’t gonna believe this!”

“They really aren’t. They might just thing Grunkle Ford is crazy and making us crazy too or something. Maybe we should keep this under wraps.”

“You got it bro-bro. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: very mild self-harm (for a spell), panic attack, small mental breakdown.
> 
> There is a single swear word in this chapter.
> 
> This chapter has a completely different feel than the previous, I was thinking about how Ford would ward the twins’ door and suddenly Ben reminded of Bill.

Hours after the twins had said goodnight, slow, cautious footsteps advanced up the stairs and walked towards the twins’ bedroom.

Listening to make sure they were asleep, Ford then planted a single six-fingered hand against the door and mumbled a custom phrase to lift the veil he had over its surface.

Suddenly, the previously smooth surface was lined with various carved symbols, all of them different. These had been added the previous night. Taking a knife from his pants pocket, Ford began carving more symbols down the middle of the door. 

The twins themselves and their familiar bond, not to mention their young age, already set a rather formidable threshold, but it wasn’t good enough to protect them from everything. Knowing this, Ford had both researched and created around 200 different protection sigils and wards he planned to incorporate in their door. If they were correct, and Ford had quintuple-checked that they were, their room would make the security of Fort Knox look like a rusty padlock.

Without hesitation, the man cut the pad of his left thumb and tapped the four corners of the doorway. Luckily, since he and the twins were related by blood, and the magic he was doing could be more flexible than the DNA-coded potion, he didn’t need theirs. Now, only they and people they approved of could enter the bedroom. Anybody or anything that tried to force their way in, supernatural, human, non physical or otherwise, would receive a lot of electricity and fire, although not quite enough to be lethal.

Ford looked down at the blood pooling on his cut thumb.

Now the twins were safe from everything, and the Shack was safe from Bill.

Bill.

Bill made his eye bleed and get blood everywhere, including Ford’s hands.

The Shack was safe from Bill but then _why was there blood on his thumb_ was his eye bleeding but why was it bleeding? He was safe from Bill, right? Were the kids? What if the unicorn hair was frayed? What if those faeries had lied to him and they weren’t protected and Bill was merely biding his time to catch him off guard and _now that the kids were here-_

Before he knew what he was doing, Ford was hastily carving an eye with an ‘x’ over it again and again on the twins’ door. _Bill can’t see them Bill can’t see them BILL CAN’T SEE THEM._

_Why was it so hard to breathe? Was Bill affecting his breathing? Was he going to KILL HIM RIGHT HERE-_

The knife slipped in his unsteady grip and he ended up shallowly cutting the pointer finger of his opposite hand. 

Wait.

His finger stung.

His thumb stung.

His eye didn’t. There was nothing dripping onto the floor.

But- what?

If his finger and thumb stung, they were injured. His mind had played tricks on him before, but they were usually auditory and visual, not painful. Physically, at least.

So his finger and thumb were injured, but his eye was fine. Right?

Rubbing at his right eye, Ford found that his hand came away with no blood on it, and instead was wet with- tears? Was he crying? _Fuck, he thought he had gotten over these._ Managing to replace the veil on the door, Ford staggered downstairs, shoved the knife into the first drawer he came across, and bandaged the injured digits.

Entering his bedroom, he fell onto his seldom-used bed with a sigh and looked at the digital clock he kept next to it. He groaned when he saw it was almost four in the morning. Usually, he would decide it was too late to sleep and carry on with the all-nighter, but he had already done that the previous night while researching sigils and going over passages in his notebooks and cursed first journal.

But now, he had people to take care of. He had gone for far longer than 48 hours without sleep in the past, but he hadn’t been exactly functional. Feeling exhausted in several ways, Ford absently got up, changed into his pajamas, laid back down, and pulled a blanket over his head, awaiting the nightmares.

They never came.

Instead he felt sunlight and heard young laughter, he smelled damp leaves and watched as twin children ran through the woods. He couldn’t tell if they were Mabel and Dipper, or him and his brother. 

He didn’t mind either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me your thoughts! This may or may not become a series.

**Author's Note:**

> I owe the light-in-a-napkin and coffee-in-a-potion ideas to Jim Butcher. Let me know your thoughts! Give me suggestions! This was very fun to write!


End file.
